


Ze Odd Couple

by Ineffabilitea



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: F/M, Humor, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-13
Updated: 2006-02-13
Packaged: 2017-10-09 00:02:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/80825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ineffabilitea/pseuds/Ineffabilitea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dream big, Mundungus. Dream big.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ze Odd Couple

**Author's Note:**

> For the FictionAlley Valentine's Day OTP Challenge (2006). Basically, this pairing was randomly generated. Not my fault! And then I wrote it. So that part is my fault.

Ze other girls at work, zey are so jealous. I pretend not to notice - I have lots of practice at zis - but zey are.

"Oh, more flowers, Fleur? Your fiancé must be so crazy about you, to send so many."

Zey are not all from Bill, but zis I do not tell them. Eet's not my fault, after all, and eet's none of their business, either. Bill understands, zat ees all zat matters.

***

See, 'ere, you, I ne'er made a fool of myself like this for a woman before, but from the first time Bill brought tha' bird of 'is round to the pub, it was like I jus' couldn' 'elp myself.

Oh, they seem right 'appy enough, but the ol' Fletcher charm'll work as well on a foreign bird as on any other. Girl like that'll ne'er be 'appy with jus' one bloke, in any case. Bet she's righ' insatiable, that one.

Firs' step is to send 'er flowers. E'en included a little note: "_Fleurs_ for the Fleur', it said. 'Ad to look that up, I did, but for a classy bird like 'er, you 'ave to go all out.

See 'ere, though, don' go tellin' the whole world tha' Mundungus Fletcher is burnin' with passion for Fleur Delacour or anythin'. Whate'er 'appens stays between 'er and me, least till you get a bottle or two of Firewhiskey in me!

***

Zey think zey are so funny, ze girls at work. Now, when Bill sends me flowers, he always includes a sprig of ambrosia. He says eet is for 'love returned'. Most men send me roses - so unoriginal, really.

Today I got ze most - unusual - flowers I have ever received.

"Have a row with your fiancé, did you, Fleur? I'd call the wedding off if my bloke ever sent me that."

Eet is some sort of ... decorative cabbage, I zink. Eet is wilting, also.

At least, I zink eet is meant to be flowers for me. Ze card says '_Fleurs_ for the Fleur'. As eef I have not heard zat one before.

Well, I will tell Bill at dinner tonight, and we will have a good laugh, yes? Ze card ees signed, but I do not recognise ze name. Perhaps he ees a friend of Bill's?

***

Women! Bloody ungrateful, is what they are. You do a special job, righ', jus' to get the money to send them some flowers, and all righ' - maybe I picked up the flowers cheap from a bloke I know owed me a favour, but it's the thought that counts, ain't it? - and they 'as to send their bloke to 'ave a 'friendly chat' with you. That's the last time I meddle with the fairer sex, I tell you.

It's their loss, ain't it?


End file.
